KAYLA
I have known for awhile that Brittany was planning to commit to gender reassignment. We lost touch for a time and I thought that by the next time we spoke, he would be she. However, when we made contact again, it seemed nothing much had changed. I was wrong, of course. These things take time and a not inconsiderable amount of money, but her plans were still in place. It became apparent that she was on the eve of her turning point; she was only a few weeks away from taking her first doses of hormones and hormone blockers, the elements of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). This was a big moment in my friend's life—perhaps the biggest. After several conversations—me asking how she thought her family would react, her asking if “xx” women tended to pee more often than men (a question which had to be clarified for me since my mind was a million miles away from chromosomes)--the idea surfaced that we should document this process. There are many transgender individuals out there who are considering taking these steps, and many more who simply feel like they have to hide who they are and that no one understands them. And besides, the people who aren't transgender, but who are interested in how the “other half” live, might want to see how this all really happens, and what it's like when a fellow human being struggles with being transgender (and especially changing their gender) in our society. We saw the opportunity sitting before us, to raise awareness of this issue in our Bible Belt town and beyond. And we knew, with the hormones already starting to do their job, it was now or never.
First, I want you to know up front that Brittany isn't a freak. She isn't showy and in-your-face. In fact, she's one of the most level-headed and unpretentious people I know. She doesn't want to be a rock star or a Broadway show girl. She just wants to be who she is. If you are willing to come with respect and good will, then we invite you into our little room here to take part in the journey. We're glad to have you. Everything's more fun with friends.
BRITTANY
I told myself I'd get this gender transition started in 2011. It wasn't a New Year's resolution. I don't make those. It was more like December 2010 anyway. I called a physician who specializes in this because I couldn't find any therapists online. You have to see a therapist for 3 months for hormones, then live full-time for one year for surgery. The physician I called gave me the number for a few therapists who specialize in this. I chose the most conveniently located one, and saw him for the first time on 3.28.11, which was nice. First step taken. He also has a trans son (so "female to male, FTM," whereas I'm "male to female, MTF”,although I personally find these terms sort of annoying, since I identify simply as female). He understands the issues. Most of time we sort of sit there & bullshit about politics and such, but address any issues as they come up. I'm happy with him, & will probably keep seeing him every other Monday at least until surgery. Shortly after starting these sessions, I started electrolysis to remove facial hair since hormone treatments don't help with that. It's more effective than laser from what I understand. They stick a small needle into each hair follicle, then apply a slight electrical current to permanently kill it, then pull the hair out. You can't really feel the current. Just the needle. The woman who did this took care to make it as comfortable as possible.
I received my hormone letter from my therapist on 6.20.11, which clears people like myself for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) & promptly posted it on Facebook as a filtered entry. I'm not out to all of my family yet. I saw the physician (same one who referred me to the therapist in March), went through a brief physical, and received prescriptions for an anti-androgen (testosterone blocker) and an estrogen (female hormone). It kind of shocked me that it's really that fucking easy. Go to Walgreen's. Buy pills. As I've been waiting my whole life to do this, it was almost underwhelming. I waited until the next day to start. It was late when I got them. I take one dose of anti-androgen and 2 of estrogen in the morning, then do the same at night. I took the very first doses at 5AM 6.22.11. By 8AM I was already pissing more than usual. It's a side effect that comes almost immediately. Soon I will basically begin female puberty. My skin will become softer. Body hair will thin down. Some may disappear altogether. If I need more electrolysis for that, I'll do it, but it’s best to wait and see. Luckily I don't have a lot to begin with. I will grow and develop breasts. What little fat I have will be redistributed in a more feminine manner. Eventually I will go full time, then surgery. The exact amount of time can't really be determined. Everyone develops at a different rate like any teenager going through puberty.
There is still a lot ahead of me in this transition. Thankfully I have mostly supportive friends. Really, a lot of them reacted like I told them the grass was green. My family will probably be supportive once they process it all. Lots of people have it a lot harder, especially in areas like Oklahoma where the loudest voices aren’t always the ones worth listening to. That’s part of the reason Kayla and I are documenting this, which we will be doing throughout the process. It can easily seem like there is no one else around going through this stuff, but it really isn’t so uncommon.
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