Standards of Care and Other Conundrums

In which we discuss trans-fashion, the trans "disorder," and what to watch when you're certain you'll never be "cured."

September 8, 2011

Kayla:  How goes it?

Brittany:  Kind of glad the week is almost over.  You?
  
Kayla:  Definitely. Feeling like... how should I say... hammered dogshit about now?
  
Brittany:  Not so bad.  Just tired of the week in general.  It's like 5 day weeks almost go faster than 4 day ones.
  
Kayla:  I've got what I now have come to accept is a cold. So I'm sitting here in my jammies, drinking some tea called White Christmas (white tea w/ peppermint & ginger).
  
Brittany:  That sucks :(  My allergies are gradually passing.  No cold this year, so far.
  
Kayla:  Yeah. I'll make it, I suppose, but my sinuses hate me. Blah.  Warning, stay away from people... something's going around, apparently.  (masquerading initially as 'allergies,' the tricky bastard.)
  
Brittany:  I usually do to the extent that I can.

Kayla:  (laugh)  So, you went shopping day before yesterday.  Get anything good?
  
Brittany:  Yeah. I needed more fall/winter clothes.  I bought a lot, which is fine. I don't do that all the time, so the bill can be handled.
  
Kayla:  Coolness. I haven't even busted out my old winter stuff yet... hopefully I don't have to get much more new this year.
  
Brittany:  I needed to since most of what I had was men's shit.  I like that I can shop in the petite section.
  
Kayla:  So you got all women's clothes? For the changeover?


Brittany:  Yeah, although I haven't really been wearing masculine clothing lately anyway.
  
Kayla:  True, but those were summer clothes.
  
Brittany:  I'm totally out now, and looking more feminine than a few months ago.  Good progress, really.
  
Kayla:  Fantastic! I was going to ask about that.  So you are, in fact, living full time as a woman now? Publicly?
  
Brittany:  It varies some.  Work isn't a place where I exactly have to wear a suit or something.  It's computers and such.  Fashionable variety, but a lot of my summer clothes are probably pretty androgynous.  Less so with the new stuff.
  
Kayla:   Awesome. I would love to see the new wardrobe additions. Was it fun? To pick out the right clothes now?
  
Brittany:  Yeah, and surprisingly less guess work than when I shop for men's items.
  
Kayla:  :)  So, by law (it is a law, isn't it?) what do you have to do to fill the requirements of "living as a woman" for a year? Always use the women's restroom? Publicly use your female name?
  
Brittany:  It's not a law really. It's just standards of care.  At some point I'll declare myself full time, maybe on my birthday.  Then do that for a year.  Then surgery is an option.
  
Kayla:  Oh, okay... I think a lot of people are under the impression that there's some mandate or something. So, you could have the option to not live that way for a year before surgery? I mean, could you still get the surgery if you didn't?

Brittany:  I'd just have to find someone who doesn't care about standards of care, which would probably just be a pain in the ass.  I don't like how standards of care almost makes this all sound like a disorder of some sort, but otherwise, I'm not really bothered by it.

Kayla:  That is crappy. I think it's a good idea to live as the gender you'll be physically changing into before you go under the knife, but it's very bizarre to me to treat it as a "disorder," yet counsel someone through the process to have it done (as if they're saying, "you're messed up in the head, but we'll indulge you anyway"). That sounds like counseling people out of being gay. It's warped.
  
Brittany:  At the same time, I guess it helps people to really be sure what they want.
  
Kayla:  True... Maybe the "disorder" is that you were unfortunate enough to be born in a body you don't identify with.

Brittany:  Yeah.  Bad luck. Lol.  Guess I did luck out on my frame, though.  Not that it's totally free. I run 2 miles every morning, and work out regularly.
  
Kayla:  But you're naturally small, which works for a woman's build.  You're only maybe an inch or 2 taller than me, I think (which isn't difficult, considering).
  
Brittany:  Yeah. I really don't remember how tall you are. I'm 5'6".
  
Kayla:  Ok, so 3 inches taller than me. ;)
  
Brittany:  It's ok. You're like Crystal & Jerry's height, maybe a bit taller. I always feel like I tower over them lol.
  
Kayla:  Funny. :)  Can I ask how your counselor has dealt with you on this issue? It's ok if you don't want to go there, but I'm just curious if he (he, right?) looks at it as a disorder, as well. If that perspective is just hardwired into the psychological community.
  
Brittany:  No.  He actually has a trans man son, so he's hardly clueless. He says the way I'm approaching it and doing everything is "realistic," like my expectations and plans aren't completely off track.  I think a lot of trans people expect things to go quicker than they really can rushing things I guess, although I can totally understand that.
  
Kayla:  That's really good to hear.  The idea that a whole branch of psychology sees transgenderism (is that a word?) as a disorder, yet shepherds its patients toward the very thing they say is wrong with them is simply disturbing to me. It makes me wonder more what is wrong with the psychologists than with their patients. It almost feels like something out of a paranoid sci-fi book. *shudder*
  
But, it is good that you're patient. That's good for every aspect of life. People rush into EVERYTHING. This is no different.
  
Brittany:  I wouldn't say the "whole" community.  There is some debate about the issue and whether it should be listed in the DSM in those circles.
  
Kayla:  Interesting.  I hear about this issue primarily from the transgender community (blogs I come across, etc.), so I'm not really up on what most psychologists think. I just know most transgenders are a bit offended by the insinuation (of course).
  
Brittany:  Yeah.  It's a little offensive having it listed as a disorder in the same place you would find schizophrenia.  I don't have a skewed sense of reality.  I know what's going on with my identity.
  
Kayla:  Um... yeah, I'd say! Reminds me of that movie Saved! (which I think you told me you hadn't seen yet)... "We have to cure you of your gayness!" Fucking hilarious! (I mean, funny in context. The movie's a hoot.)
  
Brittany:  I've heard about it. I'm not sure if I've seen it.  If so, it's been a long time
  
Kayla:  And, I have to say, you know better "what's going on with your identity" than most straight-gender people I know.  As for Saved!, rent it. It's worth it. I promise you'll laugh. A lot.  In fact, go rent it and invite Tim and his boy over. He hasn't seen it either, and with is ORU background, it would slay him.
  
Brittany:  Like "but I'm a cheerleader," I guess.  This lesbian cheerleader gets sent to one of those ex-gay camps.
  
Kayla:  Do wha...? Explain.  Is this real, or a movie?
  
Brittany:  It's a movie.  A comedy.
  
Kayla:  What's it called? (I'm gonna' hate myself for all my crappy punctuation & lack of capitals when I go to edit) ;)  (confirmed – I’m hating myself now.)
  
Brittany:  But I'm a Cheerleader.
  
Kayla:  Oh, that's the TITLE? (Gods, am I slow?)  I thought that was just a line from the movie. :D
  
Brittany:  (Laugh.) Yeah. That's the title.
  
Kayla:  So, she gets sent to this camp... I assume she was not "cured" in the end?
  
Brittany:  Right.  Pretty much.
  
Kayla:  Excellent. Then I shall watch it. :) 

But, ok, I'd better get off here, go get some more tea and try to make it through the rest of my evening. You have a good night, ok?
  
Brittany:  You too. :)  Hope your cold ends soon.
  
Kayla:   Meee too.

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