Knights in Shining Armor

Feelings so often get "in the way," but they are what makes our worlds go 'round.  These are our glasses, our lights by which we see.  Without them, we are merely surviving.

July 11, 2012

Kayla:  I'm like here and stuff... dawg.

Brittany:  k. shows you offline though.

Kayla:  It always does. I try to stay all incognito so I don't get bombarded all day long w/ pms while I'm trying to fb and work at the same time.

Brittany:  pms?

Kayla:  PMs? Private message... oldskool term, I guess... I'm old. And technologically square.

Brittany:  Oh. Yeah. That's not what I thought you meant.

Kayla:  (not premenstrual syndrome, as it may at first have looked) lol

How's life been going?


Brittany:  I've discovered writing apparently makes me hot. I went out in the back yard for quite a while to be left alone. When I came back, she said, “You're hot after you write for hours."
I'm like, "How so?"
"The way your hair gets all messy and you look like you just got back from some faraway place."

Kayla:  Writers ARE hot. That just goes without saying. (Look at Neil Gaiman!)

Brittany:  She totally got laid after that. Basically said I'm hot when I think I look like shit.

Kayla:  Hey, whatever works...

Brittany:  Well, it's not difficult with me.

Kayla:  I sort of sussed that out, yeah...

Brittany:  She's hot as fuck, she loves me as I am. I'm happy.

Kayla:  Good, lovergirl. Glad the world is looking up.  ;)

Brittany:  She puts up with my unfortunate crush on Carmen, too. Which is probably the only stressful thing going on right now.

Kayla:  Meh... you can't help a crush. That's just how people work. Why is it stressful?

Brittany:  Carmen and I get into fights all the time and I wish we didn't. Trisha understands it, and knows I wouldn't actually pursue it even it if it were an option.

Kayla:  What on earth do you fight about? That mystifies me. I mean, you're not sleeping together, coparenting, or cohabitating... what's left?

Brittany:  The feelings just got real strong after a while. It influences my behavior and how I take certain things in conversations, I guess. They interfere with the friendship. Maybe I can email one of the texts from after our last fight. It's very long. (I just converted it to a media message so I could write as much as I want.)

Kayla:  Oh... did she say she would do something, or did you have some expectation, and she didn't come through? I find that's usually what pisses Brittany off... you're very sensitive about being ignored or let down.

Brittany:  No. She didn't do anything. It just turned so intense for me, that it's caused communication problems.

Kayla:  Just remember to breathe and try not to put too many expectations--especially emotional expectations--on her. Take it lightly. (which is kind of like telling a fish not to swim, but...) wait... what's your sign again?

Brittany:  Capricorn. But Leo moon. If you're thinking signs, go with the moon on this.

Ok. The email thing worked, so I'll send it. It's very long and not formatted at all. It's a text I sent after an argument we had:

I don't hate you. & I wasn't trying to hang out or lessen the space. I pretty much stay in my house w my girls anymore. Sometimes we hang w Crystal, & that's enough. Really just wanted to say hi & let you know I'd still do a site for free if you needed one. I don't want you to feel guilty. Somehow you just came off cold, or it seemed that way to me, when you said you'd talk to me later. We just get into these text fights & I feel like you stopped caring or something. & the boob job comment & telling me to see someone at the equality center cut really deep, & that makes it seem more that way. Besides, I do get my hormones from a professional. I'm not getting them off the market or whatever. Maybe that's not what you were trying to do, but that's what happened. & texted is such bad communication. We say perfectly innocuous things, but they sound like insults. & my past experiences w people don't help. I'm more used to "Stephanies" than people like Trisha, or like you or Crystal. It's what I expect. I know a lot of people. Close to almost none of them. I guess the outside world is just an ugly place to me. That's why I organized my life the way I did. & the stupid crush thing. I think it's gone, then "oh nevermind." Then I feel bad bc it stresses you out, & I'm only supposed to feel that way about Trisha. & I don't have these issues w Crystal. I totally love & appreciate everything you did, but at the same time, I almost wish I didn't tell you after I got raped. You were all knight in shining armor after that. More than anyone else, & I think that's where this came from. Like if I didn't tell you, we wouldn't be fighting all the time now 

Brittany:  That pretty much explains it in unformatted dumping my whole heart out style.

Kayla:  Woah... boob job comment and telling you to see someone at the Equality Center... what was that about? That sounds out of line from this end, but I don't know the context.

Brittany:  That was from a fight before. She had said something about why hormones? Just go get a boob job like I did. $5k.  And she said to see a professional. The things that happen when people are fighting. Although, if I do get a boob job, I'm going to that guy. She's shown me her boobs before. They're great.

Kayla:  ... But... just a boob job doesn't (in my garish, clumsy verbiage) "make" you a woman throughout your whole system. I mean, that doesn't do anything but give you some fake boobs...
I mean, that's all well and good, but not JUST a boob job... seems to me you need the hormones to make a full transformation. Am I wrong?

Brittany:  Yeah. And that's why I was all hurt over it for however many weeks, until it came up again later.  I felt like my gender was attacked.

Kayla:  Maybe she didn't mean it that way... maybe she just doesn't understand all the ins and outs of this.

Brittany:  But what happens is, if she flakes or something, I take it way more personally than I should
and it's all thinking this person doesn't love me anymore, blah blah blah. It's not her fault.

Kayla:  Yeah, you have to stop doing that to yourself and others... this thinking people don't care... people react in all kinds of freaky ways to things they don't understand... it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care.

Also, in her defense (just 'cause I just thought of this angle), a lot of women, ESPECIALLY women who are into natural healing, etc., are very afraid of synthetic hormones. Estrogen has wrought havoc on a lot of women going through menopause, raising their cancer rates, etc... maybe this is just her way of showing she's concerned, but without trying to mother you... (I am totally guessing here, since I don't know this chick from Eve)

Brittany:  Well, maybe.

The texts from her after that are short enough where I can just type them.

Kayla:  What are they?

Brittany:  I said something about that I was just gonna pass out with Trisha and wake up the next day with her.
Then, "yay sounds good... all in all i luv you a lot & am pretty confident we will be friends for a long time"
"big big hearts!!"
"but before you go to bed, know i never ever mean to hurt your feeling"
"you & trisha are some of the few ppl i have in muh heart"

Kayla:  Aw... see she DOES love you!

Brittany:  Yeah. It just doesn't always feel that way. Usually feelings like this don't get that complicated, but it's the knight in shining armor effect, I guess.

Kayla:  You're not letting yourself feel it. I believe she wouldn't say it if she didn't mean it. But you can't push people to love you. She will show it her own way in her own time... but you push people and they will run away because then it starts to feel like you aren't loving them.

Brittany:  It's amazing how that affects me when women do it, but when men do it, I almost find it insulting.

Kayla:  When men do what? What do you mean?

Brittany:  The knight in shining armor thing.

Kayla:  Oh... it's a different thing, maybe, coming from a woman? I doubt she seemed condescending to you when she did it...

Brittany:  Which is exactly what she was. Trisha too, but not really until later. And, no she didn't.

I totally love that shit from women. Like, "Yeah. You're my protector."  Which is why I said I almost wished I didn't tell her after the rape. No knight in shining armor stuff would've happened, and the crush probably would not have reached this level. It's like I feel towards her the same way I feel towards Trisha, and it's very annoying.

I don't know if this is making more sense to you.

Kayla:  Ah... possibly (on the knight in shining armor stuff). But, you wouldn't have had the opportunity for this kind of awesome relationship, either. Something about that moment (with Carmen), from my perspective anyway, turned a course in your life. And I'm almost positive it had more to do with you than it did her.

Brittany:  Yeah. And maybe it'll go away with time, so mostly I'm just hanging with Trisha and the girls, and being pretty antisocial.

Kayla:  But you are in such an amazing place now. Don't take that for granted. Maybe it would help you sort some of these feelings out if you could see how you let her help you and how, as much as she was giving to you, you let her give it, you let her in. Which, in turn, enabled you to be strong enough to let Trisha in.

Brittany:  Carmen is totally one of my friends. I love and appreciate her. This is more me than her. I do let Trisha in. It just happened later because we weren't really in touch right after the rape happened.

Something is off here. She and Trisha did the same thing eventually. I feel about the same way towards both of them, but of course I have Trisha. No stress on that end.


Kayla:  You know me... I believe in fate... I think you needed Carmen to get to (to be ready and available for) Trisha... I could be a million miles off, but that's how this situation feels to me.

Brittany:  I don't know. Maybe that's it. Sounds nice, anyway.

Kayla:  But... what's off?


Brittany:  Like I think you're thinking I feel more for Carmen than Trisha , and that isn't it. I totally let Trisha in. Which is why, for now, I'm just chilling with my family here, not really anyone else. Probably won't actually talk to Carmen for a while, but eventually things will go back to normal and we'll probably be fine.

Kayla:  No, no, no.... that's not what I think at all. No... I only feel that maybe Carmen was... sort of a stepping stone to Trisha... and Trisha is the more fully realized complete love in your life... I don't think a relationship with Carmen would ever be as fulfilling to you as Trisha has been and still is... I think Trisha is actually more to you... and Carmen is more a... symbol (without trying to diminish her role here any).

sigh... you wanted girl talk... here you are.

Brittany: She's kinda like Crystal in a way. I don't have a crush on Crystal, but they're my best friends in the world.

Kayla:  Like sisters? Big sisters, maybe (in Carmen's knightly role), but sisters... yeah? That's how I think of my best girlfriends, anyway... like the sisters I never had.

Brittany:  Like if I made it all big with writing and had millions and millions of dollars to throw around, after getting some super badass house for me and the girls, I'd totally like buy a better house for Crystal and Jerry and buy Carmen a house.  Like, "You're great people. Have some houses." lol.

Kayla:  Yep. They're family. I feel exactly the same way about mine.   (for when I win the lottery)

Brittany:  Yeah. Like sisters I guess.

Kayla:  That line between loving and being in love with is always a bit shadowy. Especially when your besties fall under the radar of your sexual orientation.

Brittany:  Yeah. That's how it is if you're a girls' girl AND a dyke. Lol. You like girls & all your friends are girls.

Kayla:  Exactly... and that is one position I DON'T envy you. lol!

By the way... you ever thought of writing smut for money? I hear you can make a pretty penny writing smut. And since it's always on your brain...

Brittany:  Maybe I should do that. There is plenty of raunch in the novel I'm working on.

Kayla:  You totally should.  But, shit, it's 8:00. You know my coach turns into a pumpkin at 8:00 and I've gotta' feed people. Making grass-fed cheeseburgers tonight. So much fuckin' yum.

You got somethin' there with Trisha. Somethin' big if she's strong enough to deal with you crying over another woman. Do NOT ever, ever, ever take her for granted. I'm just sayin'.
(this is a public service announcement from concerned citizens in Brittany's corner)

Brittany:  I don't take her for granted at all. She's my favorite person EVER. If it wasn't for Trisha, I'd have probably left town or who knows what by now.

Kayla:  She better be! She's a fuckin' rock star! I must meet this amazing woman sometime soon. Seriously. We need a lunch date, the 3 of us. One of these days.

Brittany:  Like that "new relationship smell" still hasn't worn off. Lol.
Kayla:  Look, you guys can keep your smell to yourself, ok?  ;)

Brittany:  That's a new thing for me. i think this will last a long long time.

Kayla:  Gods I hope so. It's beautiful.

Brittany:  Yep. Two misanthropes together. It's great.

Kayla:  Anyway, I gotta' go feed peeps! and I'm HUNGRY!

Brittany:  Ok. Enjoy dinner.

Kayla:  I will. You enjoy Trisha. Tell her I said she's amazing.

Brittany:  She said, "thanks for pointing out the obvious." lolz

Kayla:  LMFAO!   Love you guys.

Brittany:  You too. I'll message you tomorrow.

The Obligatory Childhood Post

Since you can't talk about shit like a gender transition without people wanting to know about your childhood, here's a little glimpse into mine...

The first memory I have of feeling female, or at least of feeling uncomfortable with my “maleness” was taking P.E. (physical education) in grade school. They typically had classes segregated by sex. I always felt like an outsider hanging around a bunch of boys for an hour. Dodge ball stands out. What a stupid sport anyway. All I learned was how to throw shit at people. It was ALWAYS girls verses boys. There were other occasional “battle of the sexes” activities. From the time we’re barely developed enough to piss on our own, we’re taught that boys and girls are somehow in opposition to each other. If you’re on the wrong team, you’re very aware of this.  Besides feeling like an outsider, I knew I related with the girls. I wanted them to win, even though I had to be on the losing team for that to happen. I kept this to myself as a matter of self preservation, which I’ve always had a knack for.  Most of my friends were girls. At almost 35, most of my friends are still girls. When I had typical childhood fantasies of being a rock star and that sort of thing, I was a girl. I hung out with my sister and her friends a lot, generally being the only boy.

I didn’t really have a complete concept of all this as a kid. I suspect most kids don’t, but I imagine the Internet helps these days. I just knew there was sort of a discrepancy between how I saw myself and how other people saw me. I remember starting to grow a little bit of body hair at about age 11. Then acne came along. A lot of it. It annoyed me to no end. I got bullied in the 6th grade quite a bit. I was too different from the other boys, and the train wreck that was my acne made it worse. Chased around the playground, spit on, etc. I guess it was fairly standard kid bullshit. That only made me feel that much more disconnected from them, since I apparently wasn’t enough of an asshole to be a pre-teenage boy. I wasn’t really one of the girls either, so I basically became a loner. Being left the fuck alone was as good as it got in the 6th grade.

What you learn to do is hide the things that make you a target just under the surface, which I successfully did all the way through school. When all the 1990s Grunge stuff came along, there was my perfect excuse for long hair & long pretty fingernails. I first grew my nails out at age 14 at the request of my first girlfriend. At least it turned out I have perfect nails. I was happy about that. 20 years later, I have yet to go back to having them short.

Even between high school and college, when my friend Shari and I spent a little bit of time sleeping on park benches near Cherry Street, I hated beard shadow. I might not have always cared about shower access, but I made sure to shave each day when whore bathing in the Java Dave’s restroom. She still has the 13 star flag we stole from some balcony because we needed a blanket. That was 15 or 16 years ago. Something like that. I had one of my better hair cuts around that time. My friend Marta was in beauty school. She gave me this angle cut where it was straightened, about to the bottom of my neck in the back, and as you went to the front, about chest-length. That was free. She was in school. Everyone loved it almost as much as I did. I basically presented myself as a feminine, young gay male. Once I went to college, I decided I’d grow the beard out and such, and attempt to be more masculine, but still identified as a gay male. It seemed like a good explanation for everything. I sort of switched back and forth between presenting myself as feminine and as masculine until well past 30 years of age, before I just couldn’t fake it anymore.

You can only hold a balloon underwater for so long. Eventually you’re going to get tired of it and slip. I got tired of it. It’s a lot easier to live my life when I’m not expending most of my energy trying to hold a big part of it underwater. Balloons are no fun under water anyway. Now that I’m above the surface, although there are still struggles, my life is a lot more fun and a lot more full.

My childhood sucked in the social sense (Family situation was fine. I grew up in a reasonably healthy and loving home). That may explain some of my misanthropic and anti-social tendencies. I’m slow to trust. I don’t leave home that much, as I’ve successfully organized almost my entire life within my home. Thankfully, I’m basically past it. It doesn’t torture my soul or anything like that. People seem to love me more than they ever did before. I have more friends than ever. People seem to take an interest in how I’m doing if I fall out of touch. I have my beautiful partner and our beautiful daughters. Life is so much better now that I just put it all on the table and decided to actually LIVE. Fuck those who didn’t like me when I was a child, and fuck those who don’t now. When you just be YOU and live your life, the people who do love you actually love YOU instead of some facade.

Solving Life's Great Mysteries

Will Dad ever fully come around to accepting his son-turned-lesbo-daughter? Does Brittany still have sperm? What is the difference between swingers and poly people? Brittany and Kayla attempt to answer all these questions and more.

June 26, 2012

Kayla:  So, I saw you had a date with dad. How'd that go?

Brittany:  It was alright. It was just me, so the girls had to fend for themselves that night. Not gonna say everything is better with him, but there is improvement.

Kayla:  I assume you two talked about the gender transition? Or... at least his acceptance of it?

Brittany:  No, actually. That's what makes me cautious. It just kinda went down like shit was never bad in the first place. But we'll see how it goes over time. I haven't talked to him since that night.

Kayla:  Sigh... so what did you talk about?

Brittany:  We talked about the usual stuff. Basically a bunch of small talk.

Kayla:  Ah. You just drove around, I guess? Go out to eat or anything?

Brittany:  We ate over there. He made a couple steaks. Add a couple martinis and I realized how my alcohol tolerance has gone down.

Kayla:  Lol! Cheap date.  But... no going out in public, I guess...

Brittany:  No. I just went over there for a while, then came home.

Kayla:  Well, at least he wasn't hateful... and he made an effort to invite you out. That's something.

Brittany:  Sorry. It's awkward to talk about, I think because it seems somehow so insignificant.

Kayla:  Yeah... I get that. Blah.

Brittany:  But it's an improvement. I still haven't talked to my mom, but I give 0 fucks I guess. She's crazy. At least my dad is fairly calm most of the time.

Kayla:  That's good... good to have the "fairly calm" one still talking to you. Better than the alternative.
What else has been going on?

Brittany:  Mostly living this family life. I'm becoming accustomed to it, which is a good thing.
Crystal is 37 weeks now apparently.

Kayla:  Oh good for her! Is she super excited?

Brittany:  Yeah. She's been trying for a while. She wanted her boy and got it.

Kayla:  I know she has. I'm so glad this finally worked out for them. Oh, a boy! Do they have a name yet?

Brittany:  I think Jerry, actually. His dad's name and grandpa's name (on Jerry's side). Yeah. Jerry Jerome IV.

Kayla:  Ah. Family name. Cool.

Brittany:  Yeah, and she said she's getting fixed immediately after. Lol. She just wanted one more, I guess.

Kayla:  The earth thanks her for being so sensible.

Brittany:  Trisha got fixed after 2. She's fixed. I'm sterile. No worries there.

Kayla:  I think 2's a good number. I never wanted any more than 3. Not that I got anywhere near that number.

That is the nice thing about being a lesbian couple. Nobody's gotta' worry about getting knocked up.

Brittany:  Yeah, though i'm pre-op

Kayla:  That's true... I guess you've still got all your baby-making equipment. Why are you sterile? What happened?

Brittany:  Just hormones. Female hormones eventually make you sterile.

People like me, anyway.

Kayla:  I didn't know they'd make you sterile. Makes sense, I suppose, if the hormones lower your testosterone levels enough... I don't understand how that affects your sperm count, though.

Brittany:   I still have sperm, they just don't do anything. Lol.

Kayla:  They don't do anything? Man, I'm gonna' need a biology text book to follow this... why don't they "do anything?" (or do you know?)

Brittany:   Because they aren't healthy enough to do anything.

But that's fine. Fathering a child would be like the epitome of awkward.  I guess some people use a sperm bank and such. It's not an issue for me. Even when I got the blood work that said “sterile,” I didn't feel like I lost anything.

Kayla:  Not everyone feels driven to create progeny. I've got at least one friend (other than you) who never felt like that mattered to her.

Or, rather, I should say she felt strongly that she *shouldn't* have children... sociological and environmental reasons, I think mostly. But that would take a guest interview to get to the bottom of that topic.

Brittany:   Fine by me.

To me, I was happy to find out. That meant we could fluid bond for sure since no one could make half a kid.

Kayla:  We'll have to see if we can pull her in sometime. My Sarah - you know her online. She reads us.  And just think of the threesome jokes!

Brittany:  The one in Minneapolis?

Kayla:   Yes'm.

*snort* "half a kid" ... that just creates all kinds of horror story visuals.

Brittany:  Maybe I don't have sperm. I can't remember. There are either none in there, or they're useless. I'll ask my hormone doctor next time.

Kayla:  Do that. For posterity and all.

Brittany:  Point is, I can't make any babies and that's good enough for me. Lol.

Kayla:  And you didn't actually have to have an operation to get that way! Win!

Brittany:  lol.

Kayla:  Though I'm sure the world wide web will be on the edge of their seats, waiting to find out if you do, in fact, still have sperm.

These are the pressing questions in life.

Brittany:  I texted, but I'm waiting.

Kayla:  Lol! You actually just texted that question to your hormone doc?

Brittany:  Yeah. Lol, why not?

Kayla:  If your hormone doc answers you tonight, we will have to post his/her name on here and shout it from the rooftops - ANYONE GOING THROUGH A GENDER TRANSITION, THIS HORMONE DOC ROCKS!

(Just sayin')

Brittany:  She's the one from the equality center who retired. I haven't seen a new one yet since I have so many refills.

Kayla:  Oh hells bells... of course she's retired... oh well.  How long will your refills carry you?

Brittany:  5 months. She gave me referrals. I'll pick one when it gets closer.

Kayla:  Oh, that's good. At least you have some names to start with...

Having an on-call retired hormone doc rocks.

Brittany:  Bitches love me. I can't help it.

Oh ok. No sperm, or too few unhealthy ones. They don't get produced because the cells atrophy. Nice.
But it looks the same so whatever.

Kayla:  They atrophe... wow... it's so sad, and yet... so very convenient!

You're lovable. And no, you can't.

Brittany:  I guess it's not like we'd have any accidental pregnancies, anyway, with her being fixed.

Kayla:  True.

Brittany:  But I wanted everything 100% before we started doing things that way, and only with each other.

Kayla:  Always better to be safe than sorry. (I sound like a goddamned public service announcement.)

Brittany:  Not that we really go looking for anyone else. That's basically theoretical, I guess. We can if we communicate about it, but we don't.

Kayla:  When you're really fulfilled with your partner, looking outside is rarely necessary... maybe if you guys just get bored or something... but you sound like you're too into each other to get bored.

Brittany:  I guess there just isn't a need, but if it happens, safe sex is required. That way our little world stays closed off from problems.

Kayla:  Definitely.

Brittany:  Once neither of us could make babies, we confirmed being negative on diseases, and decided we don't need protection with each other.

This must be something for you to sit there and read, lol.

Kayla:  What do you mean? About you and Trisha's open relationship?

Brittany:  Not that so much as I told you we don't use condoms and such. Lol. She thinks it's funny when I show her this.

Kayla:  I bet it's really funny for her! You're talking about her sex life w/ someone she's never met! That is one open, trusting broad.   (Hi Trisha!)

But, that's how married or seriously committed couples do it... it gets to where the only thing necessary is birth control... and that's only if the partners are both still fertile. It's the beauty of a committed relationship... you no longer have to worry (so long as everyone is being COMPLETELY honest) about STDs.

Brittany:  Yeah. Some call it "fluid bonding." Like poly people. That's what they call it. We're not poly, but that's where I got the term.

Kayla:  Fluid bonding... that sounds almost alien.

Brittany:  She says hi, and she's used to me being obnoxious. Lol.

Kayla:  Ok, hold on... definitions... poly is... polyamorous? Is that right? In layman's terms... swingers?

And that's why she's perfect for you.

Brittany:  Polyamorous. Not necessarily swingers.

Kayla:  Yup... explain.

Brittany:  Like relationships with more than 2 people all together. Like a triad instead of a couple. I'm not an expert, but swinging is more like going out and trading partners for fun and going back home.

Kayla:  Oh, oh, oh... like people who are in a polygamous committed relationship... I get it! Yeah, I think you're right about swingers. I think I understand the difference now.

Brittany: Yeah. I have this book lying around. Give me a minute. I'll go smoke and when I get back I'll find it and tell you the title. You'll learn more that way.

(Cuing up intermission music.  Keep your shirt on, she'll be back... shhh... shhh)

5 minutes later...

Brittany:  Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships - Tristan Taormino
I have a copy and have already read it.

Wait, that was an audio book. This is the book book: http://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Creating-Sustaining-Relationships/dp/157344295X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340758916&sr=1-1&keywords=opening+up

Kayla:  Oh wow... cool. And it explains the differences between swingers and polyamorous relationships?

This is what I get for being a straight girl in Oklahoma... the big wide world of sexual orientation and activity eludes me sometimes. :}

Brittany:  Yeah, and other types of arrangements people have. Ours is more like "monogamy with benefits," but pretty much in theory only. If we don't have needs the other can't meet, why bother?

Kayla:  That's my perspective. But that's a personal philosophy, I guess... I've always thought a really good relationship shouldn't require any other parties involved. But I'm not judging, that's just how I feel for my life.

Brittany:  Yeah. Well, as it is, it's theoretical, but sex doesn't equal relationship. We're in a partnership because we love each other and want to share life, not because we're fucking each other.

Kayla:  I know... that's why I said it's my personal philosophy for my life, not anyone else's. Sex means different things to different people. You hook up with the ones who jive most closely to your view of relationships.

Brittany:  lol. Not really. Most people seem to look at it that way. And, that book isn't preachy. Just explains some other ways people do things

Kayla:  But not everyone, and that's why there are different kinds of relationships. It's like, "most people" eat meat, but there are some pretty hardcore vegans out there, and am I gonna' judge 'em? Hell no. It's not my life. What the fuck do I know?

Brittany:  More meat for me. It's like, if you don't like snatch, that's cool. More for me.