In which Brittany and Angela discuss a partner coming out, love lives and polyamory during the pandemic, life after Trump and personal trauma, and whether we will ever be able to relax again.
Angela: Brittany! What have you been up to!
Brittany: Not much thanks to covid. I am seeing a friend next week who I haven't seen since like the late 90s though.
Angela: Oh cool! Yeah, Covid's definitely put a damper on our adventures. Is this friend in town?
Brittany: Yeah. She moved away a long time ago, then came back. Then something went wrong with that plan, so she's moving to Vegas later this month.
Angela: So it's kind of a bon voyage get together
Brittany: Oh, btw, Trisha and Kai finally got approved for that poly geek group. Then Trisha invited me, and I STILL didn't get the notification. When I just went to the group page, it gave the option to cancel request or answer questions. So the invite went through without telling me. Failbook.
Angela: Lmao, ugh, wtf. 😂
Brittany: Yeah, though if I visit my sister again, that's a good city for her to move to.
But yeah, there's an update. Kai came out as nonbinary to us, then a bit later on FB.
Angela: I know, that's so great! Have they come out at work? You two work at the same place still, right?
Brittany: They came out at work. We both work at nonprofits doing similar work, but not the same one.
Angela: Oh ok, idk why I thought it was the same place. Are they supportive? Kai's job, I mean?
Brittany: Yeah. I think these nonprofit mental health organizations are probably easier than a lot of establishments when it comes to such things.
Angela: Probably true.
Brittany: My work has a couple non-gendered bathrooms. Kai's does too. Just asked. They said hi. Though not many people go in now since it's pretty much all telehealth.
Angela: Is Kai changing their name legally? Just curious what all their coming out entails on a semantics level.
Brittany: They intend to change the name legally at some point after the pandemic.
Angela: Ah, yep. Covid.
Brittany: Yeah. Getting real tired of it.
Angela: Everyone is.
Brittany: Though I guess I learned something useful as a result of it. I'm not, in fact, well suited for virtual dating. Kind of sucks that I had to break up with someone in the process of learning that though.
Angela: Lol, that hits on what I was just about to ask you - how Covid has impacted your dating life. But yeah, I know that was rough. 😔
Brittany: Other than about 5 months dating her, I haven't really dated at all during all this.
Angela: Have Trish or Kai been seeing anyone else?
Brittany: Kai was seeing a man until fairly recently. Trisha rarely has the patience for dating anyone new.
Angela: I feel Trish's pain. Though... I'm a bit more keen than I used to be. This whole poly thing is new for me, but I'm slowly starting to dip my toe out there.
Brittany: Which I guess is sort of where I am at the moment. I'm not ready to deal with all the initial feelings and anxiety of new relationships again right now. When I am, it'll have to be someone local.
Angela: Local is definitely better. Easier.
Brittany: Yeah. My primary love language is definitely physical touch.
Angela: The really great thing about your life currently is that you live with both your partners, so Covid didn't have to come between you guys. I know a lot of poly folks are having a hard time seeing their non-live-in partners.
Mine is words of affirmation, but touch is definitely my secondary.
Brittany: I'm definitely grateful for our arrangement being what it is. Even though we all got covid anyway, seemingly from Kai's boyfriend at the time.
Angela: I'm glad I met my primary/nesting partner before it all went into lockdown. But, crap, wtf?? Dumb boys, always messing shit up. 😂
Brittany: Lol. No one was mad at him. It's not like he was willfully careless.
Angela: We've been lucky. I've taken, I think, 4 Covid tests due to possible exposure and some a couple of bouts of likely allergy-induced sniffles over the course of this thing. So far, all negative.
And lol, I know, I get it. I was just teasing. 😊
All my scares but one came from work. Because we worked from home for like a month and then came back to the office when our numbers were higher than ever. It made no sense.
Brittany: Somehow my dad didn't get it even though he's here regularly.
Angela: Oh man, I'm glad your dad dodged that. How old-ish is he?
Brittany: About to turn 72. Now he's vaccinated.
Angela: That's good. My 70-something boss got his 2nd shot like a week ago.
Brittany: One of the doctors where I work got it. He's like 78 and looks like Bernie Sanders, so I just call him Dr. Bernie.
Angela: LOL! But, omg, have we chatted since the election? I feel like we haven't... 🤔
Brittany: I don't think we have other than some random messages.
Angela: I think you're right. Lol, maybe we should call these our semi-quaterly chats. 😅
Brittany: Lol. Like we do these that often at most, and I might actually get a blog posted once or twice in a year.
Angela: Exactly. And I keep promising to contribute with my own posts but never get around to them. Uuuuuugh. 🙄
Dear friends and readers, we're old and have lives and we're sort of sorry. 😂
Brittany: And I get easily distracted by the steady supply of weed and pussy.
Angela: Interesting. Because I am likewise distracted by a steady supply of weed and dick! Huh... how parallel our lives have become... 🤔
And work and school and kids, of course. 😂
Brittany: Yeah. I was actually surprised when you went poly.
Angela: I know. The not-100%-consensual stuff I was dragged into with my ex opened me up to some things. That and honestly you and my bff, Sarah, giving me good examples of how this can be done in a positive, healthy way have done a LOT to make this make sense for me.
Brittany: Glad we could be helpful in that way.
Angela: I was already swinging with the ex, so when I left that shitshow and got together with my current bf, he's poly so I was like... ok, I think I can work this. 😅
Brittany: Your abusive ex unfriended me after you broke up. I cried for days. JKJK fuck him.
Angela: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
SAD.
Brittany: Smart on his end. I'll totally start shit with people like him when I find them on my list.
Angela: That actually would have been hilarious to witness! But I gotta tell ya, being able to explore my own sexuality and relationships on my own terms now is... it's fucking amazing, actually.
Brittany: Yeah. I'm glad you found the guy you're with now.
Angela: Girl, you have no idea. Samesies. 😊Now I just wish it hadn't taken until I was in my fucking 40s to finally have a peaceful, healthy relationship. 😑But I guess that's what us traumatized bitches go through before we realize what's up. Le sigh.
You found Trish in your 30s, right? And then Kai.
Brittany: I've been with Trisha since I was 34. Honestly, I count her as my first properly healthy relationship. Our 5th anniversary with Kai is May 6.
Angela: Yeah, that's what I was thinking for you, too. Y'all are so great. 😊
But, current affairs! How do you feel about Biden now he's been in office for like 2 months? Lol
Brittany: I like him more than I thought I would. Definitely a difference between old Joe and current Joe.
Angela: I agree. He may not be as leftist as I want but he is still supporting policies which are way more progressive than I expected.
Brittany: Nothing about America is a left as I want, but it's a nice change not being pissed off at a president literally every day.
Angela: Ugh. Yes. I was so tired. Hell, I still am!
Brittany: Glad they got that relief plan through though. A lot of people need it, and for us it's extra fun money.
Angela: Gods yes. Bernie had sort of an informal poll on FB asking people what an extra $1k a month would do for them. I'm like, goddammit, Bernie, you are such a fucking mensch but this will never pass. UBI, the pipe dream of leftists everywhere. 😭
Brittany: Guess I didn't see that poll, though it likely would've been responded to mostly by supporters who follow him. I'd be curious what the real numbers would be on a larger poll.
Angela: Oh, me, too. And yeah, you'd have to follow his page to see it. Or I could tag you in it if I can find it again. I think he was just trying to gather info and see how people responded to it. You know Repubs would never in a zillion years go for it. And a lot of centrists would balk, too.
Brittany: Probably so. Still laughing at the people who thought Trump was going to be inaugurated 3 days ago. 🤣
Angela: Lol, right??? I don't even know wtf is wrong with these morons. Like... what did they put in that Koolaid??
Brittany: I don't either. Like people with a big following make shit up for clicks and these fuckwits eat it up.
Angela: I know. It's sad. But also pretty disgusting when you think about how much hate you have to have in your heart to fervently follow this stuff.
Brittany: Yeah. Even my far right sister doesn't get into these conspiracy theories because at least she isn't an idiot.
Angela: Right. Though, that has to put a bit of a rift between you and her.
Brittany: We don't follow each other here or talk often. That might be part of it, but we've never been super close.
Angela: Yeah, I get that.
I'm just glad he's gone. Trump, that is
Brittany: Sort of. The right wingers still love him though.
Angela: I know. It's gonna be a long time before we, as a nation, get over all of that. If we ever do.
Brittany: Like Reagan wasn't bad enough? They had to one up themselves?
Angela: Yep. And did they ever. And what's bad, is, as much as I'm relieved that Biden won, I'm already worried about what the next election will look like. I think I've just been so stressed and high strung for the past 4 years, idk how to relax into this.
Brittany: Yeah. And their hero can theoretically run again.
Angela: I know. Ugh. Idk why they haven't pressed charges against him yet, now that he's out of office. Throwing him in prison would solve that whole issue.
Brittany: That won't actually happen. And I don't say much about that happening since I'm really not here for the prison industrial complex in general.
Angela: No, I hear you. I know they're too scared of what will happen if they do. His followers are admittedly pretty violent.
I don't like our prison system, either.
Brittany: Yeah. Cheers to them not being smart enough to stage a successful coup though.
Angela: You got that right. *raises glass*
Brittany: Sometimes I wonder what the first woman I dated as a woman thinks these days. She seemed to start leaning right not long after we dated. I'm not seeking her out to ask, though. That one liked to drink my money and tell me everything that was wrong with me.
Angela: Yikes! Wtf???
Brittany: I don't bring her up a lot, but your recent relationship reminds of her, and I can see her getting sucked into all this weirdo right wing nonsense.
Angela: I will never understand the rightwing mindset. I've tried. But it all just comes down to state-sanctioned cruelty to me.
Ugh, gross. Glad that ended before it could get too fucked up. 😐
Brittany: Same. Almost 10 years ago now. Still causes lingering trust issues for me. Man, I've been on hormones a long time.
Angela: I'm pretty much Team Trish forever (as long as you're still happy, anyway).
Brittany: I don't see our relationship with each other or Kai ending any time soon.
Angela: Good. 😊
Well, girl, I better get off here. I got a hungry 5 yo to feed and I gotta get to the store for pet food, too.
Brittany: Ok, well, enjoy the rest of your night.
Angela: Will do! You, too, hon!
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