Recovery, Romance, and Bad Conversation

In which we discuss Brittany's new love, renewed strength, and utterly fail to communicate.  I heckle us in pink italics.  Love and laughs! ~ Kayla

March 20, 2012

Kayla:  Hey, did we miss each other again?

Brittany:  I guess. I waited 20 min and got bored.  Here now though.

Kayla:  Oh there you are! Lol, I was waiting for you! ;)  Sorry, should've said something sooner. I was cooking w/ one eye on the computer, waiting to see you on here.

Well, anywho, how's it been going?

Brittany:  Things have been going well.

Kayla:  Things are good with Trisha?

Brittany:  Yeah, we hang out more days than not. Here on weekends. More over there during the week.  We had dinner yesterday for being together a month.  We got each other flowers and basically ended up trading them with each other.

Kayla:  That's awesome. Did you cook?

Brittany:  I usually cook.  I'm totally "the chick" in this relationship.  :)

Kayla:  I could've seen that coming. ;) Seems like this relationship is helping you deal with everything that's happened over the past few months.

Brittany:  Yeah. She definitely gets me.  I would have liked to go to the zoo or something kids friendly, but the weather was shit yesterday.  Maybe later.

Kayla:  Oh, does Trisha have a kid?

Brittany:  She has two.  She's not as young as she looks. Lol.

Kayla:  That's cool. Do they know you?

Brittany:  Yeah.  They're great.  When they come over here on weekends, they just crash on the pullout in the back bedroom, which is ok.  The bedrooms don't share a wall.  lol

Kayla:  That is handy. ;)

Brittany:  She has primary custody. They go to her ex's every other weekend.

Kayla:  It's cool that she's open enough that the kids can be around. In some places that might not be a big deal, but here in Oklahoma, I've seen enough mudslinging in custody battles to know that you found someone truly brave and special. It's also good that she has primary custody. That cuts down on a lot of bullshit.

Brittany:  Yeah. I don't really know his opinion of this. I don't think he cares, honestly. I guess if he cared, he wouldn't have left her while she was deployed.  But that's just my opinion.

This is where everything goes to hell.  Watch as we epitomize the phrase, “a failure to communicate.”

Kayla:  So much the better!

Oh, is she trans, too? Is that what you mean?

Brittany:  lol  Deployed doesn't mean trans.  It means she had to go to Iraq when she was in the army. --My favorite line in this whole FUBARed conversation.


Kayla:  No, silly, not deployed! I meant as to why he would've left her! You weren't with her when she was in the army.

(right?)

Brittany:  No. I knew her then, but nothing was really going on.

Kayla:  Ok, but why would him caring whether his kids are around her trans girlfriend now have effected his staying with her then?

Brittany:  What?

Kayla:  (this is where typing conversations gets sticky) ;)

Brittany:  I'm sure that had nothing to do with me.

And this is where we start typing over each other, which only makes matters worse. 


Kayla:  Lmao! Ok, back up. I said it was good that she's open enough that you could be around the kids. What I meant was that it's good that she's open enough to have a relationship with a trans woman and still be able to have the kids involved w/ that relationship.

Brittany:  I think he left her because he couldn't wait for her to get back.

Kayla:  You said the kids' dad didn't seem to care, either. And then you said if he did care, he probably wouldn't have left her when she was in the army. 'Splain.

OH! gotcha. But, he doesn't care if you're in his kids' lives?

Brittany:  Well, I think if you leave your person because of their job, that doesn't show caring.

Kayla:  Again, it SHOULDN'T be a big deal, but I've seen visitation issues where the other parent isn't even allowed to have members of the opposite sex spend the night when the kids are around.

Brittany:  in general.  And I'm not any kind of a threat to the girls. Like, he doesn't seem to have serious prejudice issues.

Bingo!  That's what I was getting at!  
And yet, my stupid ass is still typing, not seeing Brittany's last comment.


Kayla:  ... different kind of caring than I was thinking of. You mean, he literally doesn't care about them at all... right? (typing these things sucks)

Brittany:  No not really. I just think he must not have cared about Trisha that much. How did this become such a clusterfuck?

i'm not THAT? high right now. are you? --I left this line completely unedited because it's so fantastic.


Kayla:  Lmao! I don't know! (I'm seriously cracking up over here.)

No ma'am, I am completely sober, thank you very much. ;)

Brittany:  lol. All I meant was he seems a little indifferent in general.  She's out now, but if she did deploy and re-enlist or something, I'd wait.

I wouldn't leave.

My last post-convo comment before I butt out:  That last line is one of the sweetest things I have ever read, and it's all for you, Trisha, so I hope you're reading this, too. 


Kayla:  There are a lot of people who don't have patience. He obviously wasn't that dedicated to begin with.  Which is fine, because she's got you now, anyway.

Onto more pointed questions, your last post was obviously a doozey. How are you coping with all that now? Is it still bothering you?

Brittany:  No. And that might be the last anyone really hears about it. I think I've moved past it. I finally have a supportive girlfriend, I have supportive friends. You, Carmen, Crystal. Some others. I'm lucky in that sense.

Kayla:  Aw... thanks! *sniff* I know Carmen and Crystal helped a lot more than I did, but I'm glad I was able to let you know I care.

I'm just glad it's over and you're able to heal. It makes all the difference in the world, being able to talk it out.  But, before we leave it behind forever, I just want to say here that I am so, so proud of you for having the guts to talk about it on the blog. You didn't have to do that, but I think it's a story that can help a lot of people who are in that position and who feel like they can't talk about it because they feel marginalized.

Brittany:  Yeah. It took a while to get to where I could write that out as a blog, but I think that was almost the end of it. I don't have the related sexual trust issues anymore. That's a plus. Especially if you're Trisha I'm sure.

Kayla:  That's so great. I'm sure she helped a lot in that area.

Brittany:  She did. And she put up with the craziness that went on for a while—the bitchiness, not sleeping, not eating, keeping rifles on the bed.  Not everyone can handle someone like me. lol

Kayla:  Lol! I guess that's true. It sounds like you and she fell into eachother's lives at just the right moment. Well done not missing the opportunity!

Brittany:  We had been kind of in and out of touch over the years . . . slept together casually here and there. It became a relationship about a month ago. I had that conversation with her and it worked out. :)

Kayla:  And no more rifles by the bed?

Brittany:  Nah. They're where they belong these days.  :)

Kayla:  Awesome.

You still doing your voice lessons?

Brittany:  Yeah. I'm getting better at it, but it's easy to not pay attention and slip some on the phone or whatever.

Kayla:  That's cool. You'll get there.

Brittany:  Maybe next convo won't be so choppy.

Kayla:  Hopefully not. I'm sure we'll get our crap together someday.

Yeah . . . someday . . .