2020 Is Terrible Except When It Isn't

 Sorry I haven't blogged in over a year. Your mom was here.

Just kidding. She wasn't here because of the goddamn coronavirus. Most of this year has been bizarre to watch and experience. I correctly figured in the event of a crisis, there would be a lack of any effective leadership, which would intensify and prolong the crisis. And here we are winning the global pandemic game day after day, month after month in a country full of so many entitled, idiotic people that we're finding ourselves in the midst of the dumbest culture war imaginable; pro-mask versus anti-mask. Instead of speaking up against and making an effort to actually do something about, say, racial, economic, and environmental injustice, the loudest people are crying a river over the thought of wearing masks in public to slow down community spread of a potentially deadly virus. You can really see the privilege showing when a bunch of white guys can't deal with being told to wear a mask. Too much body policing for those who have been policing everyone else's bodies since fucking forever, I guess. Poor guys. That must be hard. #ThoughtsAndPrayers. There is no functional national leadership, as Trump is at best of average intelligence, and only actually cares about his position of power and that of the corrupt individuals he surrounds himself with.

Not that corruption in capitalism and government is a new thing. It's just more blatant right now. Collectively speaking, we deserve this shit. We abuse this planet for profit as if we have a backup planet to abuse, which we do not (FYI). We abuse each other for stupid reasons, greed and bigotry being among the most common of those reasons, hence the need for the Black Lives Matter movement.

I know I'm among many when I point out that watching everything crumble around me has a negative impact on my mental health. I'm prone to depression anyway. I always have been, but it's been a more frequent struggle lately. Seeing an increase in senseless tragedy takes it's toll. Social media makes it worse, so I'm taking a break from that. This may be posted during that break (though maybe after if it sits here unfinished for a week or something before I complete it), but most likely it'll be linked by AV on the Becoming Brittany Facebook page, since she's better at adding little comments and engaging with our little handful of followers. It's definitely taking a toll on most of my clients as well. Quarantine and endlessly seeing clients online instead of in person is a problem for me. I miss my office, but I have some level of privilege being able to keep my job and salary intact, and simply changing the logistics of how I work. Some people I know have lost their jobs entirely. Some have lost tons of money because they had to shut down their businesses for a while. Some opened back up sooner than they would have preferred because they need to eat and pay the rent/mortgage. Hopefully none get sick and die. No one I know has gotten sick and failed to recover so far, but many people I don't know have. But hey. fOr ThE eCoNoMy!! 

For me personally, it's been a mix of good and bad, but depression and boredom with quarantine aside, at least I have a great family to be quarantined with. Odds are very low that any of us is going to go full on The Shining on the others. I've even met someone new romantically. Not really "new." We've been Facebook friends for something like 8 or 9 years, which is close the entire existence of my account. Mostly I'm too nervous and inclined to believe I'm undesirable (thanks to feeling like I'm "raped goods" and generally feeling like I'll never be woman enough)  to even tell people I'm into them without prior knowledge of them being into me, but she posted something, and I was feeling more courageous or something that day. It turns out there is a  mutual attraction and we're both polyamorous. Long distance dating and video dating (we live several hours apart) are totally new to me, but it seemed a good time to consider trying. The relationship is still in it's early stages of development, but I'm glad I brought up the nearly decade old crush in a Facebook comment. My insecurities and abandonment issues (which I'm not going into on a post that's really only meant to provide an update on my life with a little commentary on current events) are making themselves known, as they often do during the early stages, but she seems to have the patience for it. It's a rare treat that I find someone who is a good fit for me intellectually, morally, personality-wise, AND can deal with my neurotic bullshit. And she's pretty cute too. She's also a published poet, which I think is awesome. Her book is here. I'll include a photo of a poem she sent me in the mail because I like it. Of course any new relationship comes with a certain amount of uncertainty, which so NOT something I'm super adept at dealing with, but I think it's going well so far. I hope to visit soon since it's only a few hours from here to there, an area that hasn't been hit too hard by the Covid. 

This year has forced me to do some in-depth self examination/improvement, if nothing else, because it's either do that or give up and finally break down irreparably. With any luck, maybe I can reach the other side of this more confident, less distrustful, and better at communicating openly and vulnerably with those around me. As it is, I have a hard time understanding why it is exactly that those who care for me actually do. I find it hard to ask, but whatever those reasons may be for different people, they help me navigate my messy mind when I actually open up to them.

This entry almost feels out of place here. Normally I try to keep it pretty focused on the trans and queer aspects of my life, or at least connect that to what I'm writing about. Then again, I mentioned dating, and any mention of dating from me is always queer because I'm lesbian as fuck. I'd promise to write more frequently, but 2020 is a major distraction. I'll write when I get to it, which should happen eventually. That could easily be in 2021, but hey. Maybe I'll be a more improved version of myself then. If society could improve at least somewhat collectively, that would be rad as fuck. I'm not holding my breath though. We'll see.

Remember, Black Lives Matter and dump Trump in November. 

Bitches Be Cray

LOL. I'm bitches. If the title made you think I was going to throw a bunch of shade, and that excited you, I'm so very sorry.

I haven't been super open about my mental health issues in recent memory, in part because I'm currently a trauma therapist who spends her days helping other people with their mental health issues, especially trauma related issues. And maybe, at least in the context of my career choice, I get into this bullshit line of thinking that it makes me weak or a less skilled therapist, even though I actually fucking know better. If anything, maybe I should be more open about my experience as a mental health professional and someone who has mental health issues. It's actually not that uncommon for therapists to see therapists.


I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2, PTSD (a product of being a rape survivor in my case), and Generalized Anxiety, for which I take prescription medication. I'm also a survivor of my own suicide attempt (June of 2010). I sometimes get referred to as "high functioning" because my symptoms are usually well managed, and I can generally do what I need to do in my life without obvious impairment, but I personally hate that term. The opposite of that would be "low functioning," which you can't say without sounding insulting. I also don't like the implied value judgments. If I can be productive, which is pretty over-valued in this capitalist society, what are "low functioning" people, like some of my clients, who are on government benefits and/or being supported of by people who love them? Useless fucking garbage? If that's how you see it, you're an ableist prick, but congratulations! You can unlearn that if you want to, and not be an ableist prick for life. Not all disabilities are visible, but they are all valid. I don't want to be your inspiration porn, and I don't want people with more obvious impairment to be further stigmatized because you think they're "lazy," "dangerous," or "faking it" to game the system. I am inherently no better than the person on disability because their struggles with schizophrenia make it impossible to hold down a job.



Recently, I decided to check myself into inpatient psychiatric care because my depression and anxiety were getting so bad and dragging on for so long, I was bordering on suicidal, and realized my drugs weren't working properly anymore. I guess I wasn't "high functioning" then, huh? The meds have since been readjusted. Fortunately, I have a pretty decent amount of sick time, and good insurance. As is pretty typical for most people, my stay was a few days. The idea is to get people out of crisis, stabilized on any medication, and ready to go back into the world and cope. Mostly it's boring, but there are therapy groups and doctors.


Fortunately, I have a pretty great support system with my partners, family, and friends. That isn't something everyone has. My partners always have my back, and came to visit every day. I also felt really loved, and I sort of forget I'm loved sometimes, by them and by the friends who sent me messages, texts, and snail mail. I actually decided to put things like that in a visible place. Maybe it'll help me remember.


Self care is also a must. That's a good idea if you don't have mental health issues too, but that much more crucial if you do. I have to make an effort to stay on top of that and not feel selfish for it. That looks different for different people, but can be anything that isn't harmful (Getting shitfaced isn't generally something to do as self care). For me, it's taking some time to myself, reading, gaming, gardening, sometimes writing. It can be anything you enjoy that helps you wind down.



Given all the stigma still surrounding mental illness, it's no wonder a lot of people don't talk about it, despite how common it actually is. Too many people still think those suffering from mental illness are violent, abusive, dangerous people. The reality is people suffering from these issues are far more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than be the ones committing violent acts. Everyone on the right AND the left loves to cry mental illness when some piece of shit goes on a shooting spree, but I rarely hear an actual, official diagnosis. The primary issue isn't "mental illness," and it isn't simply the existence of guns, either. The issue is toxic masculinity and who has easy access to guns. Maybe you've noticed the rarity of female shooters? Women aren't immune to mental illness, yet it almost never happens. Most of these men also tend to have known histories of misogyny, bigotry, and often domestic violence. Being a sexist, abusive pig isn't a mental illness in and of itself. It's a fucking character flaw. Domestic abusers shouldn't have easy access to guns. As a culture, we also need to stop raising our boys to bottle up their emotions until some of them inevitably pop, all because they're being told any expression of emotion other than anger is a sign of weakness.



This political climate certainly doesn't help matters, with me or anyone who sees it for what it is. To say having a shitty government directly causes mental illness on it's own would be a little ridiculous, but watching the world burn in this dumpster fire can certainly exacerbate any issues, and trauma can and does certainly happen in a climate where gun violence, racist violence, rampant hate speech, and climate change related catastrophes are on the rise. If seeing children in cages in the concentration camps at the border doesn't horrify you, you're probably a shitty person. If you personally have children of your own, and it still doesn't horrify you, my best guess is you're a psychopath, but I'm not here to diagnose my followers. Watching the aspiring dictator and his administration alienate us from the whole world (accept other dictators, who he seems extremely comfortable with) and anyone who doesn't look like their ideal version of America, fuck over LGBTQ+ people every chance they get, fuck over poor people every chance they get, strip environmental protections as though we have some sort of backup planet to go to, moving to criminalize protests, and constantly gaslighting the whole fucking country while he's at it, it's really no wonder anyone with the ability to empathize might be dealing with increased anxiety and depression right now. It affects me. It affects quite a few people I know. And it affects my clients.


As long as we collectively keep viewing people with mental illness as dangerous, faking it, or useless, it's going to continue to be difficult for people who need help to admit they need help, access that help, and be able to speak their full truths. In some ways, we have to "come out" if we want to speak our truths and be openly our full, authentic selves. It's not so different from coming out as queer or trans, and none of that should be so daunting in a supposedly modern, evolved society, where practically anyone can hop on the internet, spend a little while educating themselves about the experiences of people who are different from them, unlearn the biases they have, maybe even talk to someone they know who is comfortable educating (It's highly unlikely that you DON'T know anyone at all who suffers from a mental health issues, but if you have shitty, uninformed opinions about such things, they might not tell you about it), and stop contributing to the stigma surrounding mental illness and so many other natural variations that exist among humans.


With Love,
Brittany

Pride Month: The Mental Health Chat

Angela:  How have you been doing?

Brittany:  Better in general. You?

Angela:  Well, fighting off another migraine. The excedrin didn't work, so now I'm waiting for the sumatriptan to kick in. It's fun times.

Brittany:  Seems like a lot of people I know get migraines pretty often 😞

Angela:  Idk what it is. Seems to be more common these days, yeah. Especially in women. ... climate change maybe? I know that might sound like a weird stretch, but barometric pressure can affect it and allergens, so... *shrug* I just know it sucks.

Brittany:  Maybe climate change very indirectly, because of the pressure or increase in allergies.

Angela:  Right, that's what I mean. That and increases in stressors because gestures at everything.
I also know a lot more people having breakdowns and having to go on psych meds. Just like within the past year.

Brittany:  Yeah. This president is turning the whole world to shit.

Angela:  Fact. The world is too integrated now for us to keep it contained.

Brittany:  Yeah. I take breaks from the news sometimes, but still, it's not like I forget what's going on.

Angela:  I know. Not like you even could.

Brittany:  Maybe it was a factor in my latest breakdown. I wouldn't say it's a cause in my case since I haven't experienced any directly related trauma so far, but watching all this certainly doesn't help.

Angela:  I think watching and not being able to do anything about it, at least not immediately, can be it's own kind of trauma. That sense of helplessness. Idk. At least that's what gets to me a lot of times.

Brittany:  Same here. And I have a feeling dems are going to fuck this up again, and it's going to be another 4 years of this insanity.

Angela:  I just... I can't imagine we can be that stupid! All we have to effing to is 1. Vote, and 2. Not alienate independents. Like, it can't be that hard! This man is a monster!

Brittany:  I'm still all about Warren, but to be fair, I'd vote Biden over Trump because I'm generally a pragmatist, but a lot of people I know probably wouldn't. But I hope it doesn't come to that. I really want to interrupt the man show in general, but if it's going to be a man, I'd like it to be Sanders.

Angela:  I mean, I'm not gonna vote for Biden in the primaries. But that's what primaries are for. For picking a candidate to represent the party. And I don't understand why he would win that nomination at this point, but if he does, of course I'll vote for him over Trump. I'll vote for a turnip over Trump!

Brittany:  No shit. I see my dogs dump poops in the yard that would make better presidents than Trump.

Angela:  FACT. #DogDumpPoopsForPOTUS2020

Brittany:  I actually have a mental health post mostly written. Figure I might add to it after this, but it's close to done.

Angela:  Oh, great! I haven't gotten back to my rant yet, but I will. Just been all over the place lately. But your post is more in line with what we wanted to focus on this month, anyway, with everything that's been going on. So let's talk about that.

Close friends know you had (popular term) a breakdown a few weeks ago and admitted yourself into the hospital. Do you want to describe what happened? Where you were, mentally, at that time, and why you felt you needed to check yourself in?
(And I know that's a heavy jump-in, but I really feel talking about this stuff is necessary to normalize it, yanno?)

Brittany:  It was more depression than anxiety in that case. Like I would be depressed and seem to get better, but kept getting deeper and deeper into the depression. It got to the point where I was borderline suicidal. I didn't have that intention, but thoughts were enough to tell me I needed more help than what I could get from my personal life or therapist. Depression and anxiety are nothing new to me, but I was on the same meds for years until they weren't enough anymore.

Angela:  Did they do a med change in the hospital?

Brittany:  Yeah. Fortunately it seems to be the right change. Plus they have groups and therapists and such in those places, but mostly it's actually dreadfully boring.

Angela:  Lol. How long were you actually there?

Brittany:  Just under 4 days. It's generally a short term solution meant to get people out of crisis and back to their lives.

Angela:  Right. Did that affect you at all professionally? I know you've had some issues feeling like you should be able to "handle things better" being a therapist yourself. But were there any other issues with you missing work or anything?

Brittany:  Clients had the option of rescheduling or seeing someone else that week. No one at work seems to have an issue, but maybe that's obvious there would be less stigma. It was mostly me feeling like I must be a shitty therapist if I can't even keep myself out of crisis. I know that's bullshit, but still.

Angela:  That makes sense there would be less stigma. And a good thing, too.

Brittany:  Technically I'm diagnosed with Bipolar 2, generalized anxiety, and PTSD. My own issues are why I decided to do what I do (become a therapist), which isn't an unusual motivation.

Angela:  True. I know these kinds of mental health issues are also fairly common in the lgbtq+ community, largely due to social stigmas and discrimination issues people face a lot.

Brittany:  That's true. And we're more likely to to face sexual assault and other types of violence than the general cis het population, so there ends up being more trauma.

Angela:  That's terrifying. :(  And then, because of discrimination and not yet having any federal protections, so many people don't have decent jobs that provide good healthcare, which cuts people off from mental health care, so then these issues just go untreated for years...

Brittany:  Yeah. Places like where I work exist, but there is so much demand that it can take a good 2 weeks between the intake appointment and an appointment with someone like me or the psychiatrist.

Angela:  Right. And, like abortion clinics, they don't exist everywhere. (Though, they are thankfully more prevalent.)

Brittany:  Yeah. Rural areas have less. They're also shittier places in general to be any kind of queer or trans. And watching this administration fuck over our community so much... At least I have a pretty supportive group of people even among my cis het friends and what's left of my bio family, but if you're stuck in some dump of a town where literally everyone supports these politicians, that has to be hard.

Angela:  And, you know, for the record, I'm as pretty boring het cisgendered as you can get and I've got a therapist. Both of my BFFs are on psych meds, one of them (my bi sister) for the first time in her life. Everyone is having a hard time coping. We need to be talking about our mental health, I believe, as readily as we talk about the recent bout of bronchitis I had or your seasonal allergies, etc. I think more people will get help the more we lift the stigma.

Brittany:  Yeah. And fortunately social media is helping the conversation happen, but we still have a long way to go.

Angela:  So true. I also hope that, through spreading awareness, that also will somehow spread access... if that makes sense.

Brittany:  Yeah. It does.

Angela:  Random, but... are you hearing thunder at your place?

Brittany:  Yeah, and it's dark as fuck. I'm fucking tired of this weather. I was always somewhat anxious about severe weather, but it got 10 times worse after having a tornado 3 blocks away, and I still have to see the empty shell of Remington Tower any time I'm in the southern part of my back yard.

Angela:  Jeeezus.


Friends, if you are in crisis and you need help, do not hesitate. Reach out and call someone. Here are some numbers you can call.

Trans Lifeline
877-565-8860

Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line
Text CONNECT to 741741

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)
800-656-4673

Domestic Violence (DVIS)
918-743-5763

Counseling & Recovery Services of Oklahoma
918-492-2254
https://crsok.org/

Chat: Politics, Queer Counseling, and WTF Happened to Pride

In which Brittany and Angela discuss the recent Oklahoma midterm elections, current-ish events, Brittany's day job, and then realize they never posted a damn thing about Pride. 

Angela:  Mannnnnn so much has happened in the world since we last talked. Justice Kennedy's retirement has me pretty well petrified.

Brittany:  Yeah. I fully expect SCOTUS to be an arm of the republican party for the rest of my life 😞

Angela:  Exactly. Roe v. Wade has never looked so fragile. And LGBTQ rights. And... gah... everything. Just everything.

Brittany:  And I wouldn't be surprised if marriage equality and reproductive rights become things only accessible to people lucky enough to live in the right states.

Angela:  That's exactly what I'm seeing a lot of people thinking. It'll a revert to "states rights" and everyone living I red states will be screwed.

Brittany:  Even if Congress is flipped and we get a democratic president soon, it's still going to be a problem.

Angela:  I know. Just trying to figure out how to fight this, how to move forward is hard. How do you protect yourself from the most powerful court in the land?

Brittany:  Yeah. I don't know what it's going to be like. Hopefully we get lucky and he appoints what he thinks is a reliable right winger, but get another swing voter like Kennedy, but who knows.

Angela:  I know. I'm holding my breath for that. It's all I can do.

Brittany:  Unrelated, but thanks for sharing that post about the LGBTQ camping thing. Our oldest is going this week.

Angela:  Oh yay! I can't wait to hear how it goes! How long is it?

Brittany:  3 days. It's her first time really going off to do her own thing for more than like a night at a friend's house or whatever.

Angela:  Oh, I thought it would be longer, but since it's her first time, shorter is probably better.

Brittany:  It's Wed through Fri. That's just the schedule.

Angela:  That's cool. I'm just glad it exists. Especially here.

Brittany:  Yeah. She'll be able to meet some other queer kids that way.

Angela:  Exactly. It's good to know you're not alone, you know? Especially when you're a kid.

Brittany:  Right. Maybe I would've had a better sense of my own self had I had access to something like that when I was her age.

Angela:  Right? Human connection, and knowing you aren't a "freak" (in an outcast kind of way) makes a world of difference. Something like this can give kids confidence. Seems to me like it would go a long way toward staving off all kinds of neuroses.

Brittany:  Yeah. She was pretty self-aware anyway, maybe thanks to who her parents are and the internet. She came out at 11.

Angela:  Probably. And honestly, she was probably also just born at the right time (and to the right people). I think our kids are going to be so much more adept at handling true diversity than we were, and definitely than our parents' generation.

Brittany:  Definitely.

Angela:  SPEAKING OF WHICH, the rest of the world seems to be progressing, even if America is going backwards. The World Health Organization removing transgender as a "mental illness"... I think that's huge!

Brittany:  Yeah. Hopefully the DSM will follow soon.

Angela:  How does that work? Do they have some committee that decides these things?

Brittany:  The APA revises it every so often. Homosexuality used to be listed, but was removed a few revisions ago.

Angela:  Also, I saw that the WHO didn't remove transgender entirely, but moved it to another section. Something about preserving it there for health coverage purposes?

Brittany:  There's some debate about how to classify it, but simply a medical condition as opposed to a disorder would be an improvement.

Angela:  How do you think this will affect things? This change?

Brittany:  It might help with the stigma that still exists in the mental health profession. And honestly, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria is only really an issue so treatments can have a label and be prescribed. Can't say I'm a fan of all the gate keeping that goes on. Just listen to people and react accordingly. It's not like I needed someone to tell me I was trans (though some people just starting to have these feelings might still benefit from that).

Angela:  Yes 100% to that. And I do like lifting the stigma.

Brittany:  Same, though I like lifting the stigma of "mental disorder" in general, too.

Angela:  True. You've been counseling now for a while. I know you're taking low income patients. Have you had any trans or other LGBTQ patients? (Or do you call them clients?)

Brittany:  We generally call them clients. I don't yet have any trans clients, but they tend to send LGBTQ clients to me.

Angela:  What got you interested in counseling?

Brittany:  Trauma, actually. My own. Other people's. I got my undergraduate degree in 2002 and never really started to use it until 13 years later when I decided on grad school.

Angela:  You seem to enjoy it. I mean, I'm sure it's not always fun, but it seems to be fulfilling, at least.

Brittany:  Yeah. It can be difficult at times, even triggering. And sometimes you get problematic clients, but I really love it in general. But I know what it's like to be struggling with untreated mental health issues, questioning my own gender and queerness, and not having money for any support. 

Angela:  What kind of client load do you handle? Is it a lot?

Brittany:  Eight 50 minute appointments per day for the most part. Mostly regular, but sometimes I get a new one, or an appointment from a client of someone not at work. During intake, clients who are LGBTQ and/or dealing with trauma get assigned to me because that's my expertise.

Angela:  Are they all adults, or.do you take minors, too?

Brittany:  Adults, but there is a program for children.

Angela:  Do you feel comfortable saying what organization you're working with?

Brittany:  It's in my about section if you want to look at it, but I don't want to disclose publicly. Though, if anyone asks on the blog or BB page about finding help, I can refer them.

Angela:  Great! ❤

Brittany:  I've had people I know personally be like, "Can I see you for counseling?" But no, there's an ethical issue. They can get help where I work, but not from me.

Angela:  Oh, that kind of makes sense. Also, working with trauma clients has to be hard. Do you ever have a hard time leaving your work at work?

Brittany:  Not really. It can be triggering, but when I leave my office, it stays there. I'm like the fucking queen of compartmentalization.

Angela:  Lol, that's probably good. Not everyone can do that.

Brittany:  True. You kind of have to have some ability for it given the amount of emotional labor involved.

Angela:  What kind of issues come up with your LGBTQ clients? With trauma... unfortunately, I can imagine.

Brittany:  Trauma is unfortunately fairly common. Some are closeted. Family members aren't always accepting. Being on the receiving end of bullying during the younger years is pretty common among the obviously queer. Depression and anxiety are common. I imagine when I get a trans client, they're going to need resources for support, maybe unemployment. Trans is expensive if you want to do anything medical like hormones.

Angela:  Yes, definitely. And, I imagine, it's harder for them to get work, especially here. You can "hide" being "just gay" better than transgender.

Brittany:  Yeah. Support here in general can be a little thin, compared to, say, Los Angeles. So, I wanted to help my own communities. Not to mention we're more likely to be low income and priced out of a lot of available care.

Angela:  I totally get that. There's a need, and you can help fill it. What do you tell clients who don't really have any support system to speak of? I mean... our friends are pretty supportive and awesome, but not everyone has even that.

Brittany:  Yes. 😔 I've told quite a few about support groups at the Equality Center. We don't have any queer-based group where I work. We have groups for other things though, like depression, social anxiety, etc.

Angela:  Do you think those latter groups are open and accepting enough for LGBTQ clients?

Brittany:  They are. Thankfully, it's a matter of policy.

Angela:  Oh, good. ❤ And, I am so glad Tulsa's Equality Center exists, btw. I honestly can't imagine our city without them.

Brittany:  It's actually the 6th biggest in the US. Interesting fact.

Angela:  Wow! 6th biggest... in Oklahoma?? Now I need to look up where the top 5 are located!

Brittany:  My bet would be LA, SF, NYC for 3 of them, but I haven't actually looked it up. I know LA has more than one building, but haven't been to any others.

Angela:  You're probably right. But it's surprising that ours is so high in the list. There are lots of bigger cities than ours.

Brittany:  Tulsa seems to have a lot of LGBTQ people for its size, so that helps.

Angela:  Oh, and duh, Pride! How was it? I didn't get to go! Lol. Went through the whole month of June and didn't talk about Pride. Fucking blogger fail.

Brittany:  It was fun as always. We rarely stay long, because I still can’t deal with the heat even after living here 27 years (27 years in August). I'm not really sure how many people were there, but it's been around 30,000 at times. Weird how I don't have any social anxiety at Pride or ACL, but totally everywhere else. Lol. I should've written something.

Angela:  You still can. Call the post, "It's July but Fuck It, Every Month Should Be Pride Month" 😉

Brittany:  Yeah. That's something I might actually use as a title.

Angela:  Lol, happy to help.But that really does make sense, though. That you would feel comfortable surrounded by people you know aren't going to judge you or reject you.

Brittany:  True.

Angela:  Which, I know we're winding down here, and not to start a whole new tangent, but it brings me to the question: I've seen some articles recently about some abominable excuses for people wanting to remove the "T" in LGBTQ. Which enrages me. But... have you run into any of that here?

Brittany:  I haven't run into it personally, but I see it going around sometimes, which is ridiculous considering it was fed up trans women of color who threw the first bricks and kicked off this whole movement. Fucking ingrates. Transphobia (and biphobia) are still pretty common among a lot of LG people.

Angela:  THANK YOU! It's bullshit! Like, how the fuck you gonna adopt the fucking RAINBOW as your symbol and then attempt to push out an entire classification of people like that?? Ugh.

Brittany:  Thankfully I don't see much of that sentiment in Tulsa.

Angela:  I’m glad. I hadn't either, just saw stuff online. But it was enough to raise my hackles... and make me worry. It's disturbing the places you find bigotry sometimes.

Brittany:  I think, in the not so distant future, they might realize the need as many on their team as possible, but we'll see. There are more people who embrace trans people among their number than reject them. I don't think the bigots will ever gain traction. 

The Equality Center has always been good as long as I've had any experience with it. They have trans and bi support groups, among other things. I got the therapist's number I had to see for 3 months before getting hormones from there. All it took was a phone call on my part.

Angela:  Yes. They're pretty awesome. They even host some pagan activities! Which, they don't have to. It's not specifically LGBTQ driven, but I think they recognize an ally in most pagan communities, and their underrepresentation in our region.

Brittany:  True. And they have things like the NYE party for sober people. They don't have a super narrow focus. They're big enough not to.

Angela:  They're like a beacon of love in the middle of Tulsa. 😊

Brittany:  Yeah. They're also a cooling station on nasty hot days. People from the street can enjoy the air conditioning and water whether queer or not.

Angela:  Oh, that's awesome. There are a whole lot of homeless people downtown. That can be lifesaving for them.

Brittany:  I think most stay in that area because there are more shelters and places to eat there. I see some elsewhere, though. There are remnants of someone in the field by the house near what's left of Remington tower. Never seen anyone there, but there are water bottles in trees to collect condensation. Some survivalist who doesn't want to deal with shelters, I guess.

Angela:  Probably right. And even the shelters can only help so much. Many are at or over capacity. Summertime is rough on our homeless population. Daytime, anyway. Nighttime is better. Less dangerous. Until you get to winter.

Brittany:  True, though winter is becoming less of a thing here.

Angela:  I know. Which is another kind of scary. ☹

Brittany:  I'm from the Twin Cities. I can only imagine what they do in a place even I consider cold.

Angela:  I think they probably have a lot bigger and better outreach, though. Minneapolis seems to have its shit together way better than we do when it comes to taking care of its people.

Brittany:  Yeah. I miss that. Here they don't do much, and they suck at managing finances.

Angela:  Definitely.

Brittany:  Hopefully some changes happen after November.

Angela:  YES.

Brittany:  This will be the first time I've ever had runoffs to vote in.

Angela:  Me, too! August. This is crazy.

Brittany:  Mostly I got what I wanted, though. Also crazy.

Angela:  Yeah, me too. It was like the most exciting election night since Obama won! Lol. But shit is changing. People aren't just voting for the status quo anymore. 

Brittany:  Yeah. Hell, even the republicans weren't voting for the status quo. We don't have to worry about Tood Lamb.

*Todd

Angela:  I know! So excited! I like Tood better. Let's leave it like that. 

Brittany:  Yeah. Fuck it. His name is Tood now.

Angela:  Bye bye, Tood!

Brittany:  Lol. Well, I guess we should wrap this up. 

Angela:  Yes. I need to get some shit done around the house. Have a good night with your people.

Brittany:  You, too. 🙂